Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The power of my boobs compel you
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
