And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
it's like iHOP with fire
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
