Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
