So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
