chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
