Your dad touched me again.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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