So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
