with your own penis?
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
