my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
