he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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