Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
