This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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