I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Fuck appropriateness.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
