you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
