the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
you inspire me to be a worse person
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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