in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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