i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
