you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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