There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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