You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
