I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
