So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
