just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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