So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
