About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
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