Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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