can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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