Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
