Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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