Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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