a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
