i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
