how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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