Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
