she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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