what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Sober January is a disaster.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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