So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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