you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
