Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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