:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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