Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
