party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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