i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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