i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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