so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
