The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
