The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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