i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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