'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
