Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
