i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
