last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I could fuck to npr.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
